Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Tears Fall

The tears fall
With a cause 

It rips me from the inside out
How can I still be upset?
How can I care after all this time?
It's just so numbing

It's like a faint buzzing in the background
Almost inaudible
Almost

But still there. 
Always still there

Half of Me

When I left
I left half behind
 
I turned and never looked back
My other half alone and deserted.
 
It never asked why
And I never gave a reason
 
Now I know what I missed

Accept Me

I strive for success
 
crave satisfaction
 
and
 
beg for acceptance

Failure

If I were gone would you miss me?
Or would you let me leave empty and free?
Because no more is there a 'we'
 
It's upsetting and sad
But it no longer matters
I'm on my own
Not that far from home
 
I had it then I lost it
Just because I didn't care
You threw a fit
The whole time I knew it was fair
 
I'm so far gone
I just can't be helped
I'm the only one
I have to help myself if I want to be helped
 
I'm all by myself
No one by my side now
I'm sure I need the help
But I am just going to drown
 
There's no way to escape
No other paths to walk on
It's me against today
Tomorrow, the next and so on
 
I can hear you talk about me
As if i wasn't there
But you really don't see
That i'm about to tear
 
I'm so far gone
I just can't be helped
I'm the only one
I have to help myself if I want to be helped

Backstabbing Me

This ain't what I deserve
Girl, you got nerve
Breaking down my door
Pushin me to the floor
 
I ain't no doll
I ain't gonna fall
Push me down
I get right back up
 
You're backstabbing me
I want to be free
It's not worth the fight
It just ain't right
 
You hurt me on purpose
And it shows on the surface
It's making me mad
I ain't gonna get glad

My Phobia

The space is too tight
Our elbows bumping
I want to get off
Even before I got on
 
My fear is a great one
It makes me sweat
It makes me worry
And most of all
It makes me paranoid beyond control
 
The 'ding' noise makes me jump.
Rustling everyone out of place
You grumble and make complaints
Meanwhile, you don't know
How much danger you could really be in
 
The numbers at the top
Passing by slower and slower
I keep going up
Each floor rising is a risk
One too many towards the ground
 
It finally stops
But it's still not my floor
All this just to get home
It's insane and far too many stairs to climb
 
Everyone gets off
While I keep rising
All by myself
In this closed tight area
Trapped if it decides to fail

When I Close My Eyes

You're always there
You're never here
It doesn't make a difference
When I close my eyes
 
You give me things
You take my things
It doesn't make a difference
When I close my eyes
 
Give or take
Love or hate
It doesn't make a difference
When I close my eyes
 
There is no difference
When you can't see
So maybe you should
Close your eyes

Leave Me ALONE

It's hard to see through the red
my vision starting to shred.
 
I don't want you near me.
I dont want to see you.
 
Leave me alone
for gods sake
 
It's obvious
I don't want you near me.
 
My skin crawls
within the proximity
 
And my head
aches under pressure
 
My heart can't take it anymore
please, just leave
 
me
 
ALONE

Friday, September 28, 2012

Hide

The wind blows through the fan
My hair becoming a nest
A place where birds I ban
From deep inside my chest
 
I am a slave
On a grey slate
Not at all brave
To this very date
 
The streets abandoned car
The lights lay dim
The thugs off far
The girls face grim
 
The light on a slant
Is something I don't grant.

Bouts-Rimes

It's not like I mean to grovel
But dont label me a freak
My secrets are kept in a hovel
From where a window lays I peek
 
The skies lay grim
The cloud tips suffocate
The darkness holds chagrin
No chance deviate
 
My life is like a cataract
I don't live in a Disney castle
I like to over react
And cause a hastle
 
I lay occult
Locked, inside a vault

Life

It's like the elephant in the room
Or sticking out like a sore thumb
 
It's passing by the skin of your teeth
Like washing your dirty laundry in public
Like a fish out of water
 
You rock the boat or go in circles
It's unavoidable
And awkward
These things that you experience
 
The things in life

Depression

Depression is a dark sky
Far off in the distance
 
It sounds like the silence
Of a deserted town
 
Like the loudness
Of a passing train
 
Deafening and always there
 
It is the flavor of rusty metal
And bitter aftertaste
 
It smells like the chill
In the winter air
 
Depression feels like the isolation
In a room full of people.

Whispering Wind

A cool nights breeze
and the breath on your neck
he whispers secrets with ease
and your body shakes in effect
 
he whispers your dreams
he mumbles your needs
he creates the illusion it seems
that the personification exceeds

These Dreams

I see what they bring
 
I know what they hold
 
I understand the lies underneath

I've Lost My Inspiration

It's not hiding in the closet.
 
It's not peeking through the curtains
 
It's packed up and whisked itself away.
 
It grabbed the next taxi out of town
 
and never looked back.
 
My inspiration is just gone.

Wrong Paths

What if?
What if I took the wrong path?

What if it was the path least taken?
Is that why I took it?

Because I strived at the challenge
and succeeded?

But now that I have won,
what have I really gained?


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

It's Simple

It's not complicated
It's not hard
Its easy
 
When you see what the other side holds
It can become crystal clear
As you drift
 
Drift to sleep
And you'll finally know
Why it's so
 
Simple